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WARNING: THE FOLLOWING PICTURES ARE QUITE GRAPHIC AND MAY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR WUSSIES.
Every now and then, you are going to encounter an idiot. These guys are everywhere.... but for some reason they seem to congragate near coffee shops. You can usually spot an idiot by their poodle. Another dead give-away that you are dealing with an idiot - the medallion they wear on their bare chests.
Some idiots are pretty harmless and will keep to themselves. Some idiots must bother people, like it is their personal mission in life to piss people off. Well, be that as it may, even an idiot should know better than to fuck with a ninja.
The first thing you have to do when an idiot attacks is to block the attack. This particular idiot chose his beer bottle as his main weapon of choice, backed with a polka-dot poodle. This is a very dangerous combo. The bottle is easily blocked, but the poodle can be used as a throwing device, an explosive, a swinging-club-like weapon, or it may even fire projectiles! Nobody really knows for sure but the idiot wielding the poodle.
You must stop the idiot and his bitch by any means necessary. In this case, a swift kick to the pants does the trick. Make sure to kick hard enough to take the idiot up off the ground. If done properly the idiot should drop the poodle.
Now, most idiots would just give up after a swift kick in the pants, but not this one. This medallion wearing idiot pulls a gun and gives no choice but to use the poodle. The very polka-dot poodle that was used against you now makes a fine weapon. Beat him stupid with his very own bitch. (We do not advocate animal abuse in any form, but we are talking about poodles here. Do they even count as an animal?)
After giving the idiot a good beating make sure to place him in plain view for everyone to see. Make him a display for all other idiots. Take this opportunity to teach the idiots that you just DON'T FUCK WITH A NINJA!
This pretty much goes without saying, but make sure to strike a really cool pose and hold it for a while. Remember, you are representing all ninja out there, and it is your responsibility to look awesome!
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